Happy dog owning! Not in any particular order, here are a couple of mine...
1. Look! I left you a turd!
hehe! The dining table looks purty! |
One day, we were expecting visitors. They were travelling down to us by train, and we decided we'd both meet them at the train station, as we thought it would be nice if both of us met them. We had really gone for it with the dining table; posh table cloth, cutlery, flowers, the whole bit. We met our visitors at the station and returned home.
I walked into the dining room feeling pleased with my hosting skills and beautifully dressed table, but then I noticed everyone had gone a bit quiet and no one was smiling. You ungrateful gits, I couldn't stop myself from thinking, why aren't you saying how fab everything is?! I was the only one who hadn't noticed that sitting right in the centre of the table, next to my lovely flowers, was a big turd. How Betty managed to get onto the table, deposit a turd, and get down again without disrupting a single knife or fork, I'll never know. We all kind of lost our appetites after that.
2. Motel hell - I'd like to check out now please.
When I was in my late teens, my Father took me, my dog Honey, and his dog, Cindy, to the Lake District for a mini holiday. One night we stayed at a motel, I think it was a Travelodge. Hopefully no-one who worked there at that time will ever read this, they probably still haven't got over it!
We got our belongings together to check out the next morning, got to the top of the stairs leading to the lobby, and at that moment, my Dad's dog, Cindy, decided to have an attack of diarrhoea. Fantastic! What perfect timing! It started at the top of the stairs, and my Dad had no option but to get her to the exit as soon as possible, and there was only one way down. Yep, the stairs. My poor Father had to drag a reluctant dog who was leaving a vast river of poo, all the way down the stairs, into the lobby, all the way across the lobby - still depositing poo - and out through the front doors. The lobby was full of people, of course. Staff and guests watched in horror as my Dad and his pooing dog made their way out of the door. I followed him out. No way was I staying in the lobby with the all those people, and all that poo!
So what happened? Did my Dad clean up the poo? Did I? No. I'm afraid to say that my Dad was so mortified by the whole experience, he couldn't get out of there quick enough. We went back into the lobby to pay for the room, apologising, smiling nervously and trying not to pass out from the smell. I've never seen my Dad pay for anything so quickly! And the next thing I knew we seemed to have driven 50 miles in a matter of minutes. Haha! I did (and still do) feel very sorry for the staff member who was given the task of cleaning up the mess though, that's more than anybody's 'Jobs' worth :D
Coming soon - 'That's not my Dog!' Post #2
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